


The Catch-V3 Paradox (NDRV3 IF)

by Yosu



Series: Danganronpa IF [3]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Not Canon Compliant - New Dangan Ronpa V3, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27352645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yosu/pseuds/Yosu
Summary: The world, you see, is full of ‘If’s.Without the If of Eve being joined with Adamn, society as we know it would never have existed. This world in which many live is only one of countless Ifs, constantly being propelled forward like a pool of mud by these possibilities.The epitome of the phrase Miso soup no naka de, if you will.[ V3 au ]
Series: Danganronpa IF [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893712
Kudos: 5





	The Catch-V3 Paradox (NDRV3 IF)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Mentioned violence, nothing shown but still.

The world, you see, is full of ‘If’s.

Without the If of Eve being joined with Adamn, society as we know it would never have existed. This world in which many live is only one of countless _Ifs,_ constantly being propelled forward like a pool of mud by these possibilities.

The epitome of the phrase _Miso soup no naka de,_ if you will.

What follows is an iffy world where Ifs if ifs. An uncertain Klein bottle where the surface and the inside are one and the same. Two sides on one same coin is also a famous adage for it, one most of you have probably heard.

A famous ‘what If’ story is a story of a soldier of despair fighting for hope. She managed to turn a story in which only six of sixteen people survive to an idealistic one, where everyone lives and no one falls to despair.

This story is also what _if,_ of the same sort _._

Except not happy.

* * *

...

...

...

There’s nothing yet. Not even light, not even sound. Not his body, not his voice. No one even knows who _he_ even is yet.

...Who _is_ he? What is ‘he’?

He reached out his hand, a hand that belongs to no one truly yet, in order to grab his own existence--

\--He pushed open the metal door in front of himself.

This body of his, with pale skin, and wearing a black school uniform…

...belongs to himself.

Saihara Shuichi. The protagonist of this twisted story and strange journey.

###  _The Catch-V3 Paradox (NDRV3 if)_  
 _Prologue: One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Nest_

As he came out of the locker, his mind was in a haze. The first course of action to take was…

Fall face first onto the floor.

Unable to catch himself, he slammed to the ground. Sparks violently scattered in his eyes, like melting konpeito.

_Fuck!_

Thankfully enough, he was awake enough to be flustered and embarrassed. 

He began to rub his forehead. 

This bump on his head… was definitely going to swell. Shuichi glanced around, confused. 

…

Where _was_ he? A classroom? Looked way too damn dilapidated to be one… but it was most certainly a classroom, with desks and an electronic white board. And it was dusty.

 _Extremely_ dusty.

Shuichi rubbed his chin, even tempted to pinch it.

...Was this a dream?

No, no. Wasn’t possible.

He began to work his confused mind, trying to remember a sequence of events that got him here. Like shards of memories he doesn’t remember, doesn’t have a recollection on. All he has to do to remember is think, think, think…

_\--BAM!_

“WAAH!” Shuichi yelled.

Suddenly, the second locker next to his began to shake, making a noise. Shuichi jumped in surprise, eying the locker as the door began to jostle open. It began to open slowly, before--

A person fell out.

“Uugh… uuuugh…”

A boy wearing a mostly white colored uniform, unlike the one Shuichi was wearing. The boy also had deep, purple hair, and… wasn’t wearing pants. Maybe he was just wearing shorts, Shuichi guessed. Shuichi of course noticed the long salmon colored cardigan.

He still seemed to be in a daze, and as he sluggishly raised his head…

“...W… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Letting out a scream, as if he saw a monster, he fell on his backside and drew back.

The shorter boy began to huddle in the locker, curling into a fetal position.

“W-who are you!? Are you one of _them!?”_

Shuichi bent down to the boy, trying to make himself look non-threatening. “...Them?”

“Yes, _them!”_ The boy repeated, as he nodded. “The _people_ who kidnapped me!”

_Kidnapped?_

“Wh-... where am I…?” The boy began to sob, shaking, frantically looking around the classroom. “Please, tell me what you are planning on doing to me at least--” The boy pitched into a whimpering. “Please, don’t kill me, _please please_ don’t kill me! I don’t wanna die, please, I don’t wanna--!”

Shuichi grabbed the panicking boy’s shoulders.

“Hey, wait!” He paused. “Um… what’s your name…!”

“...What?” The boy sniffled, wiping his eyes. “Um… well s- since I don’t know you… it’s Ouma.”

_Ouma…_

“I’m Saihara Shuichi. The thing is, Ouma-kun…” Shuichi paused. “You’re not the only who’s confused!”

Ouma rubbed his eyes, leaving the locker slightly. Shuichi couldn’t help notice that the cardigan the boy was wearing was long, going down to the lower thigh. He sniffled. “I’m… I’m sorry, Shuichi-kun.” He then tilted his head. “Um, also, I’m--”

Shuichi pressed a finger against Ouma’s lips, shutting the boy up. He tried, once again, to follow the string of memories he was trying to remember.

...Oh, right.

Shuichi looked at Ouma gently. “Don’t worry, Ouma-kun. I won’t hurt you. Because…” He paused. “I was also kidnapped.”

Ouma squeaked in response.

“I was going to school as usual, taking the same old path, and then I was suddenly pushed into a car…” Shuichi began. “I desperately tried to cry out, but nobody came to save me, pretending not to see what was happening. I lost consciousness after that…. And when I came to, I was in that locker.” Shuichi explained, pointing at the locker next to the one Ouma was in.

Ouma sniffled again, rubbing his face. “Same here… then you were kidnapped by those people too?” He whimpered, again. 

Shuichi nodded, helping the boy up. “Seems like it…”

“B- but why me?” Ouma asked. “It’s not like my family is rich, I’m just an ordinary person… there’s no reason for me to be kidnapped…”

Shuichi sighed. “Me… too. I’m also just an ordinary person with no special traits.” He paused. “And… this _is_ a school, right? Why were we brought to a school? I wonder why…” He shook his head, watching Ouma wobble up and out from the locker finally. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I just wanted to calm down and think.”

“N- no… it’s fine, since _I’m_ the one that caused trouble by screaming at you…” Ouma sighed gently. “More importantly… this place is clearly strange, right? Maybe we got involved with something really bad…”

...What could it be?

What did Shuichi get himself into?

He glanced at the door, which was closed.

“...Let’s hurry up and get out of here… and call for help.” Shuichi declared, walking toward the door. 

Ouma whimpered, following suit. “Y- yeah! You’re right!”

With that confident enough sounding cry, Shuichi ran towards the door, Ouma’s icy cold hand slipping into his.

The door swung open with little resistance, as if the people holding them hostage weren’t even _trying_ to keep them trapped.

A monster stood in front of them. A hulking beast of wires and metal, towering above both Shuichi and Ouma, billowing steam from pipes and air vents.

Ouma stumbled behind Shuichi, hugging his body close. “A m- monster!?” He shrieked.

Shuichi, on the other hand, was utterly baffled. “What?”

The monster simply cackled, almost finding the terror and horror at it humorous. Ouma stood behind Shuichi like a marble statue, not even moving a muscle.

“Thi- this is bad!” Shuichi called, grabbing the much shorter boy’s hand again, this time more tightly, beginning to run. “We should run!”

Ouma stumbled behind him. Shuichi could only guess the boy had never in his _life_ been in a situation like _this._ Which Shuichi could honestly relate to. Despite his newfound courage in this situation, neither has he.

His feet slammed onto the pavement of the school, barely paying attention to the overgrown flora growing on the wall.

Shuichi barely could pay attention to the monster, as it yelled a flurry of _wait._

Ouma pointed to a set of stairs, which had a small, yellow sign. It listed one simple message.

_Gym._

Shuichi ran into it, hand still in Ouma’s.

### Gym

When he desperately flung himself into the gym, he was greeted with a baffling scene.

Fourteen other students. Equally balanced by gender, by height, by everything. The only shocking sight was the colors of the hair. Green, pale blonde, blue, purple…

A short girl, with brown skin and white blonde hair, spoke up. “Ah, more people are here…?”

“What?”

A much taller boy, taller than Shuichi and Ouma, sighed. “Were you guys chased down by those monsters too?”

Ouma swallowed. “Um, y- yeah…”

A tiny male, shorter than anyone in the class, shuddered. “Those… _things…_ what are they? What do they plan on doing with us?”

A boy with green hair, who looked vaguely like a playboy, raised his hand. “Should I go take a look?”

Finally, a girl spoke up. She had long, almost floor length hair. “Of course not! It’s dangerous to go outside!”

“Those _monsters…_ are probably still roaming around.” Piped up a small girl, with red hair.

“Hey!” Shuichi called. He couldn’t help but raise his voice. “Who… _are_ you guys? Why are you here--”

“Now, there’s sixteen of us, huh.” A blonde girl spoke up, cutting Shuichi off. She wore a dark colored uniform, contrasting with her pale blonde hair.

_What?_

“The number of people here. Sixteen people… what’s more, all high schoolers. What could this mean?” She continued, clearly noticing the confusion everyone was having. “Oh, right… you asked a question. ‘Who are you?’, right?” She paused. “I’ll just say my name first… I’m Akamatsu Kaede… for now, will you be content with just that?”

 _Kaede Akamatsu._ That almost sounded like the name of a famous celebrity.

“So what? Who cares if there’s sixteen people. There might be more joining us soon.” The tall boy with purple hair groaned.

Akamatsu shook her head. “No. I think this is all the people here. If this state of affairs is _what I think it is,_ that is.”

Another girl with cascading long hair, the color of the night sky, crossed her arms. “...What do you think it is?”

Another girl -- blonde hair, just like Akamatsu -- groaned. “Don’t say shit as if you're a psychic, cow tits.” She snapped. “If there’s something you know, then spit it out!”

It was then everyone went silent.

Suddenly, after the blonde girl insulted Akamatsu finished, an unknown voice resounded throughout the gym.

 _“Okaaaaay! Be quiet! Quietness~, quietness~!”_ One voice spoke.

 _“Geez, you’re saying it all wrong.”_ Another voice chidded. _“Please say ‘silence~’ next time.”_

The same monster Shuichi saw before… well, there were 5 of them. Surrounding the group of teenagers. One blue, one red, one yellow, one pink, and one green.

Shuichi was going to die. He could feel it in his bones.

Kaede tilted her head, unfazed, unlike her now panicking classmates. “...What? Who is this? Where are you?”

All of them, the monsters, spoke in unison. “Kyahahahahahaha! Thank bear for waiting~!” 

Ouma dove to the ground, terrified for his life. “Kyaaaaa!”

 _“Shit!”_ The tall boy with purple hair swore. _“Fuck!_ We’re surrounded by the monsters!”

The red monster groaned. “Ah, these aren’t _monsters._ These bodies are called _‘Exisal’._ ”

The yellow monster nodded it’s vague form of a head. “It’s the _‘High-Performance Action Humanoid Murder Weapon’~!”_

Ouma shrieked. “M- _murder weapon!?”_

The blue one, the one that so graciously introduced itself to Shuichi and Ouma, laughed. It pointed a claw to Ouma. “Can I _please_ kill the shrieking one, just to test it out?”

The girl with black hair -- braided, now that Shuichi had a good look at her -- ran in front of Ouma, arms spread out. “Ueeee! Please wait a second! It won’t be fun killing normal people like us!”

“Then we’ll have to kill you in a way that would be fun.” The blue monster laughed. “We’ll squeeze you in our hands so that your internal organs will ooze out of your mouths like _goop!”_

Shuichi nearly vomited at that mental image.

“We’re not toothpaste!”

The pink monster shuddered. “That image isn’t very pretty. I can’t take gory things.”

“Then how about…” The yellow one trailed, rubbing it’s ‘chin’ with a metallic claw. “We grab them by their hands and pull in opposite directions to split their bodies?”

Ouma clapped his hand over his mouth. “We’re not dried squid eitheeer!” He sobbed.

“Ah! Wait! We can’t kill them with the Exisal.” The red one suddenly announced. “Because, according to the plan, the Exisal’s role comes much later.”

The blue one groaned. “What the heck are you saying. We’re riding the Exisal _right now.”_

The red one bounced, making the group pull back suddenly. Shuichi grabbed Ouma’s hand, making sure he wouldn’t get crushed accidentally.

“Ah, you’re right!”

The pink one sighed. “Looks like we messed up seriously. The plan was to make our debut not riding the Exisal.”

The blue one groaned. “It’s you guys’ fault for not verifying the script!”

The yellow groaned. “...That includes you too, you know?”

“Anyways… let’s get off.” The red one announced. “It’s not _too_ late yet! Here we go~!”

From the red Exisal monsters, a tiny red and white bear shot out. It wore a scarf and golden binky. “Monotaro!” He said confidently, posing like a generic _tokusatsu_ character once his paws landed on the ground.

_Monotaro_

From the pink, another bear -- this time, pink and white. It wore a flower in one of it’s ears, and also wore a golden binky. The pink bear giggled as it landed towards the ground, twirling. “Monofunny!” She announced in a sing-song voice.

From the yellow, another bear. A yellow and white one, with a clear tiger stripe pattern on the yellow side, as well wearing black glasses. And again, a yellow binky. “Monosuke!” He announced as he landed, cackling.

_Monofunny_

_Monosuke_

From the green, a vaguely robotic bear. It was green, indistinct and generic looking. It also wore a binky, but it looked very crudely made. “monodam” She spoke robotically, sounding like a fusion of Microsoft Sam and Siri. When her ‘paws’ landed on the ground, there was a soft _clud_ noise.

Finally, from the blue. It was again, another bear. It looked like a stereotypical rockstar, especially from that one band. It was blue and white, with make up on it’s face, looking like the star child. “Monokid!” He roared, posing humorously as he landed.

_Monodam_

_Monokid_

  
  


“Monokuma!” The bears sang together. “Together we are… the Monokuma Cub Force!”

Shuichi stumbled, accidentally letting Ouma fall to his knees. “...Huh?”

The red one, Monotaro crossed his arms. Shuichi assumed _he_ was the group's leader. “We got off the Exisal.” He looked at Ouma. “Now, we’re not so scary, right? RIGHT?”

Monofunny sighed. “Your desperateness is more than scary!”

“Are you bastards ready to _die!?”_ Monokid laughed, which made Ouma squeak, grabbing Shuichi’s leg.

“This one’s scary in the _regular_ way!” Monofunny cried.

Monokid groaned. “Sorta! Because my hellish self is like a hellish messenger from hell who will strike the hell out of these bastards down to the pits of hell!”

Monosuke groaned, shaking his head. “That’s no good Monokid. You said hell too many times, and your hell image is becoming weak.”

“What? What’s a hell image?” The red one, Monotaro, asked, as he tilted his head. 

Ouma whimpered, looking up to the group. “W… he- hey… what’s with those stuffed animals? How are they moving?”

Akamatsu shrugged. “Who knows.”

The girl with blue hair whimpered. “How, I won- wonder…?”

Shuichi swallowed. “But, when you say _moving stuffed animals…”_

The boy with green hair blinked, crossing his arms. “What’s more, they’re calling themselves the _‘Monokuma Cubs’._

Moving stuffed animals? 

The Monokuma Cubs?

“What, wait!” Shuichi cried. “You guys… are called the Monokuma Cubs!?”

Monodam gave a low beeping noise.

Monotaro awkwardly laughed. “Ah, ha… it’s no use asking Monodam. Because she was bullied in the past, she closed off her heart. Now she only talks to close friends.” Monotaro then nudged Monodam. “Right, Mono- _chan?”_

Monodam only gave a low beeping noise in response. Shuichi could tell… she wasn’t much of a talker.

“M- Monodam! You won’t even open your heart for me...!?”

Akamatsu nodded, somber. “I see. Then there’s mistaking it, huh?” She paused, crossing her arms. “This really _is…_ ‘what I think it is’. But who’s _doing_ this? Why this sham--”

Monokid slammed his foot down. “Enough, your fussy talk is annoying! Your reactions are far too normal and it’s _boring!”_

Monotaro nodded. “Yeah… now that I look closely… aren’t their appearances normal too?” He paused. “Hey…. are their _recent memories_ done yet?”

Monofunny tilted her head. “What? That should’ve been taken care of before any of them woke up…”

Shuichi raised his voice. “Answer us! If you guys are the Monokuma Cubs, then that means--”

“Hey!” Monokid interjected. “Who are you bastards!?”

...What…?

A tall boy, with long black hair, tilted his head. He noticeably wore a face mask. “What do you mean… by who are we?”

“What…?” Monosuke groaned. “We’re asking if you guys have some _amazing talent.”_

Amazing talent…?

“I don’t have… something like that. There is something I like that I put my heart into, but I can’t really call it an ‘amazing talent’.”

Ouma nodded, stumbling up. “Same here… I don’t have any talent like that.” 

What followed was many of Shuichi’s hostage-mates agreeing in the concept of being talentless, normal teenagers.

Monokid pointing his arm at the group. “See! Just as I thought! Their _recent memories_ aren’t done yet!” He paused. “The one in charge of that… was Monosuke, wasn’t it?”

...Monosuke was seemingly asleep, not responding to Monokid’s annoyance.

Monotaro shrugged. “Huh. He’s asleep. I wonder if he’s tired.”

Monodam beeped. “hes pretending” She announced, despite sounded low and quiet.

The said bear… well, Monosuke pretended to be asleep.

Monotaro sighed. “But, even if he’s pretending, his sleeping face looks so peaceful. Let’s talk quietly so we don’t wake her.”

Shuichi raised his hand. “M- more importantly… if you guys are really are the Monokuma Cubs, then--”

Monosuke, now awake again. “Who we are _doesn’t_ matter. More importantly, it’s you guys who are the problem.” He paused. “Well, by problem… I mean a _big problem._ Forgetting your valuable talents and becoming a minor high schooler character.”

“Huh?” Shuichi swallowed. “Forgetting our… talents?”

Monotaro nodded, before looking at the other Monokuma Cubs. “Well… according to the setup… it’s the _Super High School Level Hunting’s_ fault. Because of the _Super High School Level Hunting’s,_ you lost your memories and became different people.”

“Ummm…” Ouma tilted his head. “...What are you guys talking about?”

“Well, there’s no point in telling you bastards now.” Monosuke groaned. “Anyways, we need you bastards to remember your _true selves_ already.”

“That’s right! You need to take back your memories and release your _sealed talent!”_ Monofunny announced.

Ouma, again, tilted his head. “I don’t get it… what is this… _sealed talent?”_

Monotaro waved his arms, trying to dissuade the group. “Too many questions! The conversation isn’t progressing at all!” He paused. “Stop questioning us like we’re celebrities whose love affair was just discovered!”

Monodam gave a low beep.

Monosuke groaned. “Whatever. Let’s start. Watching minor characters whining isn’t interesting at all.”

Monokid nodded. “Then, let’s start by taking these _plain_ appearances and make them totes kawaii!”

The five bears tossed out multiple uniforms from the Exisal cockpits, each outfit locking onto a person in the group. As if it were parasites from an alien.

_Hat onto to Shuichi’s head --_

_\--Gakuran jacket to swap out for his blazer and tier --_

_\-- Sneakers replacing his loafers --_

_\-- Make-up onto his face._

When it was over, Shuichi stumbled, confused.

Ouma was now wearing pants, thankfully. However, he was even _more so_ confused. “Wh… what’s with these clothes…?” He stammered. “Why am I in a…--?”

Monofunny interjected. “Yes, wonderful. Your appearances are now fit for the title of a _Super High School Level.”_

_Super High School Level?_

“Well then…” Monosuke nodded. “Next are the _memories_ you’ve all been waiting for.”

Monokid cackled. “Hella yeah! Be prepared! After the seal has been released, you’ll be in the world _of the killing game!”_

Killing game?

Monotaro smirked, pulling out a flashlight, which looks… like it was _much_ brighter than any flashlights Shuichi has ever seen in his life. “Now, after we have you remembering your _wonderful talent_ using the _remember light,_ this time for _sure_ this will be the beginning of a very _wonderful story!”_

The five bears group together, holding onto the flashlight, and then…

Everything went white. 

* * *

###  _The Catch-V3 Paradox (NDRV3 if)_  
 _Prologue: One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Nest_

...

...

...

There’s nothing yet. Not even light, not even sound. Not his body, not his voice. No one even knows who _he_ even is yet.

...Who _is_ he? What is ‘he’?

He reached out his hand, a hand that belongs to no one truly yet, in order to grab his own existence--

\--He pushed open the metal door in front of himself.

This body of his, with pale skin, and wearing a black school uniform…

...belongs to himself.

He remembered clearly now.

He was the Super High School Level Detective, Saihara Shuichi. The protagonist of this twisted story and strange journey.

...This felt like Deja vu.

[ _Truth is elusive, it's nowhere to be found. Yea the truth can never be written down,_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55BbK4kR14s)

**Shuichi Saihara**

**Super High School Level Detective**

[ _It's not in any magazine, you can't see it on your TV screen_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55BbK4kR14s)

As he came out of the locker, his mind was in a haze. The first course of action to take was…

Fall face first onto the floor.

Unable to catch himself, he slammed to the ground. Sparks violently scattered in his eyes, like sparking gunfire.

_Shit!_

Thankfully enough, he was awake enough to be flustered and embarrassed. 

He began to rub his forehead. 

This bump on his head… was definitely going to swell. Shuichi glanced around, confused. 

…

Where _was_ he? A classroom? Looked way too damn dilapidated to be one… but it was most certainly a classroom, with desks and an electronic white board. And it was dusty.

 _Extremely_ dusty.

Shuichi rubbed his chin, even tempted to pinch it.

...Was this a dream?

No, no. Wasn’t possible.

He began to work his confused mind, trying to remember a sequence of events that got him here. Like shards of memories he doesn’t remember, doesn’t have a recollection on. All he has to do to remember is think, think, think…

_\--BAM!_

“WAAH!” Shuichi yelled.

Suddenly, the second locker next to his began to shake, making a noise. Shuichi jumped in surprise, eying the locker as the door began to jostle open. It began to open slowly, before--

A person fell out.

“Uugh… uuuugh…”

A boy wearing an off-black uniform, a suit with multiple straps wrapped around his arms. Two straps hanging loosely around his legs. His shirt was ripped at the hem and the collar part of it is completely gone, and big parts of the uniform are fixed with metal clips. He also wears two-colored black and purple slip flats.

He had pale skin, with dark purple hair. Strangely, he wears an off-white flowing cloak and a white leather peaked hat with a gold badge on top of it. Shuichi guessed that it was a navy admiral hat.

...But why was a teenage boy wearing a navy admiral hat?

He still seemed to be in a daze, and as he sluggishly raised his head…

“...W… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Letting out a scream, as if he saw a monster, he fell on his backside and drew back.

...That was from Shuichi, of course.

“Hey!” The purple haired boy laughed. “Nishishishi… there’s no need to be _scared!_ Acting like I’m a monster… how rude!”

Shuichi swallowed, standing up, rumbling his bum. “What? Ah… sorry.” He paused. “I’m sorry, I guessed I’m still confused, I have no idea why I’m here…”

The boy, again, giggled. “Nishishi… it seems you need a small reality check.” He stood, he cape billowing onto the ground. He held out a hand. “My name is Ouma Kokichi. I’m the _Super High School Level Supreme Leader.”_

[ _Come on, let go of the remote -- Don't you know you're letting all the junk flood in?_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul0sp782hIQ)

**Ouma Kokichi**

**Super High School Level Supreme Leader**

[ _I try to stop the flow, double-clicking on the go. But it's no use, hey, I'm being consumed_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul0sp782hIQ)

A supreme leader? That’s absurd.

“You’re a supreme leader?” Shuichi asked. “What… what does that mean?”

Ouma smirked. “I’m the supreme leader of an evil secret society.”

“...What?” Shuichi was flabbergasted. 

Ouma nodded. “It’s pretty impressive, you know~” He stated smugly, twirling a lock of his hair with his index finger. “Since it’s an organization with over _ten thousand members.”_

“Are you saying seriously? I mean, an evil secret society--”

“Who knows.” Ouma interjected, shrugging while looking smug. “I _am_ a liar after all.”

Shuichi rolled his eyes. “I’m Saihara Shuichi. I’m technically the _Super High School Level Detective.”_

Ouma smiled. “You’re a detective? That’s amazing! Do you have any stories to tell?”

Shuichi blushed. He’s never felt like that before around a boy, but of course, there was a chance Ouma was lying. Which made the detective _determined_ to figure out the supreme leader's tell. “Not really… I haven’t made enough results to call myself an _actual_ detective… it’s just, _by chance,_ I solved a case I happened to encounter, and then, I came to be called that.”

“Nishishishi… how interesting. I’ll find a way to make you spill more, then!”

 _As if,_ Shuichi mentally retorted. Ouma seemed to… _tricky_ to legitimately trust openly.

###  _“Rise and shine, ursine!”_

A sparkly of multi-colored confetti shot out from the ceiling, causing Ouma to duck under one of the desks and Shuichi to stand in pure shock.

From the red burst of confetti, a tiny red and white bear shot out. It wore a scarf and golden binky. “Monotaro!” He said confidently, posing like a generic _tokusatsu_ character once his paws landed on the ground.

_Monotaro_

From the pink spark of confetti, another bear -- this time, pink and white. It wore a flower in one of it’s ears, and also wore a golden binky. The pink bear giggled as it landed towards the ground, twirling. “Monofunny!” She announced in a sing-song voice.

From the yellow spark of confetti, another bear. A yellow and white one, with a clear tiger stripe pattern on the yellow side, as well wearing black glasses. And again, a yellow binky. “Monosuke!” He announced as he landed, cackling.

_Monofunny_

_Monosuke_

From the green sparkle of confetti, a vaguely robotic bear. It was green, indistinct and generic looking. It also wore a binky, but it looked very crudely made. “monodam” She spoke robotically, sounding like a fusion of Microsoft Sam and Siri. When her ‘paws’ landed on the ground, there was a soft _clud_ noise.

Finally, from the blue confetti. It was again, another bear. It looked like a stereotypical rockstar, especially from that one band. It was blue and white, with make up on it’s face, looking like the star child. “Monokid!” He roared, posing humorously as he landed.

_Monodam_

_Monokid_

“Monokuma!” The bears sang together. “Together we are… the Monokuma Cub Force!”

Shuichi, naturally, yelled. “Kyaaaa!”

Ouma stood up from where he was hiding, lowering a purple eyebrow. “...Stuffed animals?”

“No! They’re _monsters!”_ Shuichi stammered. “You’re allowed to act _surprised_ at times like this!”

Monokid yelled, almost in response to Shuichi’s statement.

The pink one, Monofunny, groaned. “I don’t think he was talking to you, Monokid.”

“Calling us _monsters…_ is such a cruel thing to say…” The red bear, Monotaro, bemoaned. “Humans who say such things are the _real_ monsters.”

Monofunny laughed softly. “But, even if we _were_ monsters, we’d be pretty cute monsters.”

“I think so too.” Monotaro agreed. “I think it’s a good thing we were born with these looks. From that point on we were destined to be winners.”

Shuichi, protectively, pulled Ouma aside. The supreme leader was still, as always, unimpressed. “Ouma, do you know what…” He gestured his hands at the bears, as they were discussing. “ _This_ even is? How are they… _talking?_ Aren’t they stuffed animals?”

“We aren't the Monokuma Cub Force! We’re stuffed animals!” Monokid announced.

Monodam gave a low, robotic beep. She then roughly patted Monokid’s back. “incorrect” was all that came out, with barely any amount of empathy in her voice.

Monosuke, the yellow one, nodded. “Yeah, Monokid, you’ve got it backwards.”

“We aren’t the stuffed animals force! We the Monokuma Cubs are!” Monokid announced again, somehow sounding _more_ incoherent.

“Ah, now it’s even _more_ nonsensical.” Monosuke groaned.

Shuichi tilted his head. “...Monokuma Cub Force?” He repeated.

“Ah!” Monofunny chirped. “Do you recognize us!?”

“Of course we don’t! Why would I…” Shuich then gestured a hand to indicate both Ouma and himself, despite Shuichi not knowing if Ouma even _knew_ what a ‘Monokuma cub’ was. “ _We_ don’t know about stuffed animals that move and talk.”

As he answered, the things known and called the Monokuma Cub Force looked at each others faces…

“Yay!” Monotaro cheered. “Big success!”

“What a _relief!_ I was seriously worried at one point!” Monokid contragulated, giving a sigh of relief.

Monodam simply gave a low beep. She didn’t even move from where she was standing. Shuichi wondered if Monodam was even _alive._

“U-um, really, ok, what are you all? Seriously… I don’t get any of this.” Shuichi asked awkwardly, still putting himself in between Ouma and the ‘Monokuma Cub Force’.

Monotaro laughed. “Alright, in that case, let’s solve this together, one by one!”

“As expected of Monotaro! You’re so dependable!” Monokid, again, congratulated. 

Monofunny sighed. “You’re like a first-year middle schooler watching over your elementary school underclassman…” She groaned, rubbing her… nose?

“In other words,” The yellow one began, pushing his glasses up. “Don’t expect all that much.”

“So~?” Monotaro twirled. “Any questions~?”

Shuichi had a mountain worth of questions he wanted to ask, but firstly… “Where are we? It kind of looks… like a school, but…”

“You see, this is the _‘Gifted Inmates Academy’.”_ Monotaro announced. 

“Gifted Inmates Academy?” Ouma repeated.

“Gift Inmates academy, they said…” Shuichi also repeated, curious. “I’ve never heard of such a school in all my years of research.”

Monofunny smiled. “Well of course. This school was just created for you 16 teenagers.” She explained.

_For sixteen people?_

“Thaaaat’s right!” Monotaro agreed. “In this Gifted Inmates Academy, there are sixteen _‘Super High School Levels’.”_ He announced.

…

Shuichi nearly bit his tongue. There were… _more_ people like Shuichi here? 

“Of course, you two know about the _‘Super High School Levels’,_ right?” Monosuke asked. “It’s a special promotional system implemented by the government… as you should know, it’s title is derived from the _‘gifted system’._ By the way, the word _gifted_ means _genius_ or _skilled._ Put simply, the _Gifted System_ is a promotional system established in order to nationally cultivate geniuses… the promotional system grants various privileges to students that were shown to have a promising future!”

Monofunny giggled. “Exemption from tuition fees goes without saying, they’re also given the right to vote and even run for office. They’re also granted subsidies as well, right?” She paused. “And so, the students chosen by this _Gifted System_ are called _Super High School Level.”_

 _“Hell yeah!_ The title of _Super High Schooler Level_ is the object of admiration among students all over the country!”

Shuichi knew as much, especially having it explained. Because he, along with Ouma, was a Super High School Level student.

“You need to have that ingrained in your memory. You can’t go forgetting again.” Monosuke chidded. “Really, forgetting your precious _Super High School Level_ talent is such a waste…”

Shuichi stepped back. “What? Forget?”

Monokid failed his arms. “Shut up! Stop the chitter chatter and let’s get started already!

Ouma crossed his arms, confused. “Start… what?”

“Well, of course, investigating this Gifted Inmates Academy.” Monotaro explained. “You gotta introduce yourselves to the other _Super High School Levels_ and do some research. Since soon, you’ll be doing _that_ together.”

Monokid laughed. “Great! I’m _sooo_ turned on. Anyways…”

Rockets of confetti flew out, and once it dissipated, the Monokuma Cub Force was gone. Leaving only a note saying _So long, bear well._

“There was still more I wanted to ask them…” Shuichi groaned. 

Ouma yawned. “This… isn’t a dream, is it?”

“Actually, I’d rather it was a dream…”

In any case, he had to find the exit. Somehow. But, they said there are sixteen _Super High School Levels_ here, so…

“Ouma, mind accompanying me to look for the others?”

Ouma shrugged. 

With that, they left the classroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Why does Monodam use she/her? Because I said so. Who care


End file.
